Busy Isn't a Badge of Honour: Self-Care as Survival for Disabled Folks

Written by Jenine Lillian, #ActuallyAutistic Neurodiversity Consultant & Educator 

September 30, 2025

In today's world, "busy" often gets celebrated as a kind of modern-day badge of honor. We hear it all the time: "How are you?" — "Busy!" As if being overscheduled, exhausted, and constantly in motion somehow proves our worth. For many people, this grind culture comes with costs. But for disabled folks, it can be devastating. 

I want to say it clearly: Busy is not proof of value. Survival is. Care is. Rest is. 

The Myth of Productivity Equals Worth 

So much of our culture ties human value to output. We're taught to measure ourselves by our calendars, our inboxes, our checklists. But this equation—busyness = worth—was never built with disabled bodies and brains in mind. 

For disabled folks, this isn't just unrealistic—it's harmful. It forces us into shame when our bodies or minds insist on limits. It erases the brilliance and contributions that come from creativity, connection, and lived experience. And it reinforces ableist systems that only recognize "value" when it looks like relentless, visible productivity. 

I didn't receive my Autism and Dyslexia diagnoses until I was 51 years old. For decades, I pushed myself to keep up with expectations I didn't realize were never designed with me in mind. The cost was significant: chronic exhaustion, sensory overload, and a persistent feeling that I was somehow failing, even when I was accomplishing so much. 

Here's what many people don't understand: disabled and neurodivergent people expend significantly more energy doing the same tasks as our non-disabled peers. When we pour all our energy into appearing "busy" and "productive," we're often borrowing from tomorrow's reserves. We're setting ourselves up for crashes that can take days, weeks, or months to recover from. 

Self-Care Isn't Luxury—It's Survival 

One of the biggest myths I work to dismantle in my consulting and education business is the idea that self-care is indulgent. It's not. For all of us, but especially for disabled people, self-care is survival. 

Resting when your body tells you to. Building routines that respect energy limits. Saying no, even when you're pressured to say yes. Asking for support without apology. 

These aren't optional extras. They are the practices that allow us to keep showing up—for our communities, our work, and ourselves—on terms that are sustainable. 

I've had to learn this the hard way. Being a neurodiversity consultant and educator is meaningful work that I'm passionate about, but I've also had to accept that my capacity looks different than I once thought it should. Setting boundaries around my energy isn't giving up; it's what allows me to show up authentically and sustainably for myself, and the communities I serve. 

Reframing What "Enough" Looks Like 

What if we stopped chasing "busy" as proof of worth and instead embraced wholeness? What if "enough" looked like honoring our limits, creating room for joy, and celebrating the ways disabled folks already innovate, adapt, and thrive every single day? 

Neurodivergent and disabled people are often already experts in creative problem-solving. We know how to pace ourselves, to build systems that work with our brains, to craft environments that support—not punish—difference. These are not signs of weakness. They're evidence of resilience and brilliance. 

A New Kind of Badge 

If we're going to celebrate badges, let's make them real ones: 

● The Badge of Rest. For honoring your body's needs. 

● The Badge of Self-Care. For recognizing that care is power, not weakness. 

● The Badge of Boundaries. For saying no when the world says go. 

● The Badge of Community. For knowing we don't have to do it alone. 

Busy is not a badge of honour. But living in alignment with your body, your needs, and your truth? That's worth celebrating. 

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Want to put these ideas into practice with community support? 

Weekly Free Kaboose Hangouts: Focus on Self-Care with Jenine Lillian 

Connect with the international Kaboose neurodiverse community and Jenine in live, 30-minute gatherings that bring self-care into everyday life. Together we’ll share strategies, adapt tools, and keep each other accountable for making self-care non-negotiable. 

Jenine’s Free Kaboose Self-Care Hangouts run on Mondays, October 6–December 29 from 4pm-4:30pm PT. Register in the free Kaboose app.