Neurodivergent Holiday Survival Tips: Protecting Your Peace During Peak Stress Season

Written by Jenine Lillian, #ActuallyAutistic Neurodiversity Consultant & Educator, BCPF Board: Regional Director - Kootenays

December 2025

The holidays can feel like a pressure cooker—broken schedules, sensory overload, difficult

conversations, and expectations everywhere. For neurodivergent folks, this peak stress season demands more than just pushing through. It demands real strategies for survival. Self-care right now isn't about being festive or fitting in. It's about making it through this month feeling as whole as possible.

I want every neurodivergent person to be able to check off their list: Did you get rest? Yes. Did you feel some routine? Yes. And did you get downtime? Yes. This is not about molding yourself into something else. This is about navigating the chaos without losing yourself.

Here are three non-negotiable strategies to protect your peace during the holidays:

Create a Tactical Retreat

When you're leaving your controlled environment—whether running errands or staying overnight somewhere—set yourself up for success. The social anxiety many of us carry gets ramped up during the holidays because everyone else is stressed, too. Pack a sensory kit: noise-cancelling headphones, a favorite scent, a fidget, whatever helps you regulate when you're out and about.

If you're staying overnight somewhere, pack a go bag with those essentials plus comfort items like particular snacks, your favorite pillow, or a blanket. Anything that supports you day-to-day becomes a refuge when you're in a different environment. This isn't optional—it's how you avoid burnout and meltdown.

At home, create a sanctuary that's a no event zone. Take 15 minutes in a comfy chair, a quiet corner, or sit in your car in the driveway. Step out of the pressure cooker. This isn't rude—it's regulating, comforting, and recharging. That's what you need more in this season than any other.

Say No Without Guilt

The biggest holiday stressor for most of us is trying to fit into somebody's idea of festive. We see happy families in movies and media, and somehow there's a cultural expectation to match that perfection every single year. Here's the truth: we're all on the outside of that ideal because it doesn't actually exist.

You're allowed to skip an event. You're allowed to leave a party after 30 minutes. You're not required to explain yourself. The only required explanation is for you to say to yourself: I'm honouring my energy right now. I'm taking really good care of myself.

Treat rest, quiet time, and your routines—sleep, meal times—like essential, non-negotiable

appointments. If a party conflicts with your scheduled downtime, the downtime wins every time. I actually don't celebrate holidays, but I still experience increased stress during this time. Years ago, a counsellor gave me the best line when people pressured me about awkward family gatherings: "I have plans. I'm spending the holidays with my family." I spend my holiday time alone making a nice meal and doing projects in my special interests with my pets. To me, they're my family.

Feel free to put that line in your pocket. It's absolutely true and it shuts down that social dysfunction where people feel awkward and want to drill down into what we're doing that's different. We don't need to explain. We certainly don't need to apologize.

Give Yourself Permission for Imperfection

Neurodivergent folks often internalize that we have to be more. We have to mask. We have to somehow morph ourselves into a different being just to get by, especially in these heightened stress times. We need to interrupt that.

The holidays don't require perfection. They don't require the appearance of joy. They require us to survive this month feeling as whole as possible.

You are allowed to feel excited, overwhelmed, and completely tired—maybe all at once. Be kind to yourself. You are the only person you owe comfort to.

Final Thoughts

Feeling connected and understood is vital to our wellness any time of year, but especially now. Even if we love the holiday season, it disrupts our routines and the efforts we make to regulate our nervous systems. You are not alone. Go slow, be kind to yourself, and take excellent care of you.

Happy holidays.